Bonus Parents — It Takes A Village

What do you think of when you hear the word “Step-Mom/dad”?

The term has gained the connotation of an evil stepmother forcing you to scrub floors, or stereotypes of abusive stepfathers. However, kids who are lucky come out the other side with four loving parents - sometimes affectionately referred to as “bonus” moms and dads. Aside from the challenges that come with assuming the role of stepparent and raising someone else's child, the stigma that has surrounded the role of stepparent presents an additional burden of being thought of as a potentially less important parent. The shift towards this term represents our society becomes more accepting of every kind of family, as more and more families are blended through divorce, remarriage, adoption, or other methods of becoming parent.

If you have a shared parenting arrangement and are bringing a new partner into your child’s life, something extremely helpful is a well-drafted parenting plan. Children thrive under structure, and they have probably just had their lives turned upside down as their parents separated.

If you’re a bonus parent, you may find yourself working through difficult emotions and stress while helping to raise the new children who’ve come into your life. You didn’t prepare for these children for 9 months, haven’t known them since they came into the world, and when you became a parent in this child’s life, you didn’t know this little person you would be helping to raise.

If your family needs help creating a parenting plan that works for everyone, our family dispute resolution professionals have extensive experience and have negotiated favorable results for many families since 1989.

With thoughtfulness, effort, and counsel, you can make co-parenting work, and provide your child with a loving community in both households.