Lots of people talk a good game. Not so many walk the walk.

Judges must get tired of parents who say they “will” clean up their act: stop verbally abusive their Ex and the kids, stop using booze or alcohol (at least around the kids), start a job, start paying the support that was ordered months ago, get a suitable place for the kids to visit. All that bad conduct laid out in the affidavits — that was just frustration: “S/He made me do it. Trust me: tomorrow I will be better.”

Most judges trust actions over words. There’s an Italian proverb: “Parliamo piu forte con le nostre mani” — “We speak loudest with our hands”. And, no, that’s not a dig at the Latin propensity for waving their hands when they talk. It means that people can say anything, but what matters is what they do.

Good parents look after their kids. Even if the parent has little money, they try to provide for the kids. Not spend hundreds of dollars on their own entertainment, liquor, cigarettes — and complain they are “too broke” to pay child support.

Good parents show up: For parenting time, for teacher interviews, for kids’ sports — for all the administrivia that comes from producing a child.

Good parents don’t make excuses: “That job was beneath me”; “I was too busy to take Sara to the dentist”; “I shouldn’t have to drive 40 minutes to my kid for an hour”.

Yes, we get it: separation is stressful. The Ex might be playing mind games. You suddenly need to reorganize everything that used to be sorted out. But, it’s not your kids’ fault. Be a grown up. Do the work.

We’ve had lots of cases where our client at first got a bad deal from the court: maybe there were accusations of drugs, abuse, various misconduct. So, we got orders for something — not everything, but something. Maybe the judge ordered drug testing. Bogus, maybe, but the judge had a reason to impose it. Then our clients buckled down. They did the work. They were respectful to the other parent. Pee in that cup? Sure — anything to see my kids. Showed up for every second of every parenting time. Volunteered for the crummy jobs: dentist, doctor, taking the kids to play dates, sports, music. Never whined about it. Just did it.

Then we went back to court and asked for a little more. Without fail, we got it: “See, judge, Mom/Dad is doing everything you ordered. You should reward that.” Oh, and we are good at pointing out the other parent who just talks but never does.

Chef Jose Andres saw a problem with people going hungry. Did he whine and say: “Somebody should do something”? Nope. He started World Central Kitchen. He’s provided 100 million meals to hungry people around the world: Afghanistan, Bangladesh, South America, USA, Ukraine. That’s speaking loudly with your hands. (You can donate here: https:// wck.org/donate.)

People who talk a great game but never do the work might be parents. Or, they might be lawyers: Yak, yak, yak, but never actually get the job done. Oh, except for billing. Even do-nothing lawyers seem to get around to sending a bill.

If you “just wanna say” — call someone else. If you want to do something about your situation, come see us.

At Clear Legal, we have been doing the work to help parents since 1990. Not just talking.