Estate Planning #9: Emotions

Your Will is the last thing you say to people.  It’s the last thing they hear from you.  Make sure your Will is prepared with that in mind.  It’s your voice from beyond the grave.

Too often, people use their Wills to settle scores that have been smoldering for years.  Or they reveal a horrible or painful secret (“I am aware that John is not my son, but was the result of an affair between my wife and my supposed best friend Alan during the first year of our marriage.  I leave John nothing.”).  Or they try to control the lives of their heirs (“I leave $100,000 to my son Peter, on condition that he abandon his “gay” lifestyle.”).

Most of these Wills result in bitter estate litigation.  Since usually the lawyers are paid from the estate, the heirs may be left with very little.  All because a nasty, bitter, or stupid jerk decided to use their Will as one more opportunity to “make a point”.  One more chance to abuse a spouse or child, even after death.

Of course, the ones who benefit from a nasty Will often want to keep their gifts, and won’t share with the ones who were victimized. 

A well-written Will can be a comfort to your loved ones.  It shows you thought about what mattered. 

Don’t:

·       Write it in anger.

·       Reveal hurtful secrets (“I have been living a double life…”).

·       Say hateful things (“I have always been disappointed by my son, Doofus.”).

·       Ignore your legal obligations: spouse and children.

 Do:

·       Try to be calm and compassionate – in words and in gifts.

·       Ignore or forgive petty issues (“I know Betty always did her best, and I leave her this gift to remind her of my affection.”).

·       Remember this is the last thing people will hear from you.  Make it worthy.

·       Try to accomplish good.  Pick a charity for at least part of your estate.

·       Leave gifts that are meaningful: I have a cookie barrel from a friend who used to make me shortbread.

·       Listen to your estate lawyer.  Some things are against the law or not enforceable (like the “abandon gay lifestyle” above).

 A bad Will can ruin lives, or cause pain for decades.  They can tear apart families. 

 A good Will can bring healing and resolution.

 At Clear Legal, we have been helping prepare good Wills since 1990.