Our BC Family Law Act, s.1 https://canlii.ca/t/5571d and the new federal Divorce Act, s.2 https://canlii.ca/t/551f9 have similar but not identical sections dealing with family violence.  Theoretically, the Divorce Act only applies to married people, and the FLA applies to both married and unmarried people.  In practice, the courts will apply the same principles in either situation.

Family violence has some obvious definitions: physical, sexual, psychological abuse.  Psychological abuse includes intimidation, stalking, financial abuse, and property damage.  Both statutes include harming or threatening animals.  Both include coercion and intimidation.  Both say that a child witnessing abuse – of a parent, a sibling, a pet --  suffers violence just as if they were directly abused.  Both statutes allow the court to decide that something not specifically listed is family violence.  The aim is to prevent and punish violence committed by a family member against another.

Sometimes abused spouses stay with the abuser because they believe the abuser is “sorry” and “will never do it again”.  Sometimes they stay because they don’t want the kids to “lose” the abusive parent.  Sometimes they believe they have no options and nowhere to go. 

None of these is true.  Abusers keep doing it until they are stopped.  Usually that takes police involvement.  Without the police stepping in, abuse is likely to continue until either the abuser is dead, or the victim is.  Kids are better off with no abusive Dad/Mom than in a two-parent home where one is an abuser.  Children learn what they live.  Abused children are likely to grow up to be either lifelong victims, or lifelong abusers.  Drug addiction, self-harm, mental illness, and crime are common in adults who were abused as children. Is that what you want for yours?

If you are in immediate danger or fear for your safety CALL 911.  This is treated as the highest priority of police response.  If your abuser is nearby: ORDER A PIZZA from 911. If you are not in immediate danger, or you fear for the safety of someone else, call VictimLink BC at 1.800.563.0808.  There’s HAND SIGNAL you can flash a waitress, bartender, even a stranger, showing you are being abused and need help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5VQD58UroQ.

Leave an abusive situation.  Don’t waste time packing.  Take a little as possible and go.  Find a safe place – a friend that the abuser doesn’t know, a relative, a shelter.  If you have access to a credit card, withdraw the maximum cash advance – cash doesn’t leave a trail.  Take your kids with you.  Then call the authorities.

Many lawyers will assist family violence victims for free, or for greatly reduced fees.  

Victims of abuse need clear legal options.  Help is out there.