There are obscure rules, many of which no longer make sense, but we follow them anyway.

There are bleachers for fans to watch from.  Every fan thinks he knows more than the people actually playing.  Everyone watching from the sidelines thinks they know better about what’s “really” happening.  Or what the participants “should have” done.  Or think they could have done a better job themselves.  But they don’t know anything.  So just shuddup and let the professionals get on with it. 

The other guy always tries to fake you out.  Curve balls are common.  Home runs are rare.

Every team has a captain.  And people who run around a lot, look up at the sky, wave their arms around, and think THEY should be the captain.  But they ain’t.  So just siddown on that bench and do what I tells ya.

You think you’re going up against one guy, when suddenly the other side calls a switcheroo, and there’s some ringer facing you.  Someone can be on one team today, even for years, then get signed on to another team.  Loyalty is defined as doing our best for whoever pays us.

Youthful energy often succumbs to the guile of experience.

Substance abuse is a dirty secret.

When we talk about it, most people are bored.  Especially our spouses.  People who really, really, love this stuff have something wrong with them.  Especially us.

A good contest is worth watching.  Even if the opponent is beating us, we can admire his skill (while we plot revenge).  The result can seem pre-ordained, but suddenly an unexpected twist completely reverses expectations.  It ain’t over til it’s over.

The contest can involve millions of dollars.  Or almost none.  It can be a grudge match between hating rivals.  Or a genteel contest between colleagues who will go for a beer afterwards.  It can be about pride and spite.  It can involve a feud so old, no one recalls how it started.

If you show up, you have a chance to win.  If you don’t show up, you always lose.  There is a winner and a loser.  Ties don’t happen. Even really skillful people can suddenly choke, and perform like idiots.  Even idiots can have a perfect day and win.  Sometimes the winner is the one who understands the rules better — not necessarily the better player.  The best in the business are not always winners.  It is often all about the psychological game.  It is always a game of inches.  And strategy.

Winning isn’t everything.  It’s the only thing.  Coming second doesn’t count.

Losing is terrible.  Losing to a crappy opponent is worse.  It doesn’t matter if you win by a huge margin or by a squeaker.  A win is a win.   We love to talk about our wins, and pretend our losses never happened.  Or we was robbed.

There is one umpire, who thinks he is God.  He might be a paragon of patient perception.  He might be a pompous, biased, blind jerk – but he always gets the last word.   He’s always right, even when he’s wrong.  It can look like you’re winning all along, then suddenly, you lose (again, that damned umpire…).  If you tell the umpire what you think of him – you get tossed out of the game.

We (at least in Canada) wear funny clothes.