Speaking For The Child

Children are the most vulnerable people in any family law dispute.

Parents must navigate through their own separation challenges.  They may forget that parental separation causes emotional pressure and grief to the children.  Children are likely to become depressed due to the separation.  They often blame themselves.  They often resent one or both parents.

Separating parents may be unaware or uncaring that their own spousal separation is traumatic to the children.  In the worst cases, parents use the children as weapons in the lawsuit.  Parents may pressure the children to takes sides: If you love me, you have to say you hate the other parent.

Children need to be sheltered from the ongoing litigation between their parents.  Sensible parents should be able to handle their disputes without involving the children.   The parents are supposed to be GROWN UPS.

Problems arise when parents lose sight of the best interests of their children.  They are absorbed by the conflict, they seek revenge, and they make selfish decisions.  The parents become obssessed with scoring points in the case, at the cost of their children’s wellbeing. 

·       Sunny (age 11) loves hockey and is enrolled in a weekly program.  His parents share parenting time 50/50.  Sunny’s father refuses to take Sunny to hockey on “his” time.  Sunny’s coach threatens to cut Sunny from the team for absenteeism.

·       Arya’s (age 14) parents share parenting.  Arya’s school is about 10 minutes from each parent’s home.  Now Arya’s mother has decided to move in with her new partner – an hour’s drive away from Arya’s school.  She wants Arya to move schools and to share a room with her new partner’s two children.

·       Norah’s (age 8) parents recently separated.  She lives with Mom Mondays through Thursdays, and Dad Thursdays through Sundays. Her parents constantly complain about each other in front of her.  Every exchange day is a screaming match.  Norah says she hates all the things she used to love: dance, music, and art.  Her teachers say she cries all the time and doesn’t interact with her friends.

While parents litigate, children often walk on eggshells around them.  Sometimes they suffer neglect, parental alienation, and emotional abuse.  In these situations, the parents have failed to put the children’s best interests ahead of their own selfish need to “win”.

These children need protection.  They need a voice.

One source of help for these children is the Child and Youth Legal Centre.  The CYLC provides free legal representation to children.  This is only available when the court has ordered it in a family law matter.  The lawyers appointed are specially trained and vetted. 

At Clear Legal, we have been protecting children’s best interests since 1990.  Arsh Sarkaria of our office has recently extended our commitment to children by becoming accredited as a Roster Lawyer at the Child and Youth Legal Centre.

BTW: If you want to make a donation to the CYLC, you’ll get a tax receipt!