1.             Never make visitation arrangements directly with children under 12.

 2.             Never suggest visitation arrangements you have not previously discussed with the other parent.  Always confirm with the other parent any visitation arrangements made with children 12 and over.

 3.             Send and return children who are clean, well-rested, and fed.  Do not send or return dirty clothes. Launder them.

 4.             Do not use a telephone answering device to screen calls from the other parent or limit telephone access between your children and the other parent -- except after your children's actual bedtime, not the bedtime you would like them to have.

 5.             Do not discuss divorce/separation disputes with your children or allow them to hear you discussing your differences about them.

 6.             Do not send messages or money with your children.

 7.             Do not speak badly about the other parent -- or of his or her relatives, friends, or loved ones.

 8.             Do not ask your children for information about the other parent's household, friends, income, or activities.

 9.             Do not believe everything you hear from your children.

 10.          Do not second guess the other parent regarding discipline, rewards, or anything else.

 11.          Give a sympathetic ear to your children, but affirm and reaffirm as often as necessary that you are not a referee or a mediator between your children and the other parent.

 12.          Be courteous.  Do not honk your horn for your child to come out.  Walk to the other parent's door, but don't go inside unless invited.  Have the children ready to go.  Always be on time.  Smile.