Family law often involves each parent loudly claiming they know what’s best for the children.  He says black, she says white.  He says the kids want more time with him; she says they want more time with her.  How can a judge decide?

 Lawyers have specific legal and ethical duties to act in the best interests of the children.  If the client instructs the lawyer to do something the lawyer believes is contrary to the kids’ best interests, the lawyer must refuse.  Sometimes it’s hard to tell – it may be a matter of style rather than substance.  For years my kid insisted on having pasta with olive oil, red chili, anchovies, garlic, black olives, and parmesan cheese – for breakfast.  Weird, right?  Abuse?  Unlikely (except to her classmates who got the garlic/fish breath – ugh!).

 Some things are clearly bad: not paying/receiving the minimum child support; refusing medical care for the child; demanding/allowing unsupervised parenting by an abuser.  In cases like that, the lawyer must protect the child – even against his/her own client. 

Sometimes the issue is that the client makes everything a battle: Violently opposes the child getting guitar lessons (which the child wants), and will only pay for piano (which the child hates).  Or refuses the child being in a sport the other parent coaches (“That’s my time!”). 

 Good family lawyers treat the children as their most important “client”.  Good family lawyers encourage their clients to put money into the RESP, instead of fighting over every trivial issue.  Bad lawyers add gas to the fire.  Will it matter 20 years later that my kid had pasta puttanescsa for breakfast instead of Cheerios and milk?  Probably not.  Will it matter that Jamie took guitar and not piano?  Nope.  That Roxanne went into soccer instead of swimming?  I doubt it.

Will it matter that the parents put the children first?  Yup.  Will it help that sometimes their lawyers had to tell them to pull their heads out of their rear ends and put the kids first.  Double yup. 

 PS: For my pasta puttanesca recipe, email me.